04/08/2010

THE SINGLE BIGGEST EVENT IN YOUR LIFE

What is the most important event of your life?
- in terms of the impact that it had on your physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual development.
Shall I tell you?


Your birth.


How, with whom, where and when, in what manner, and under what circumstances you were born are the most influential factors in the development of a human being...





Of course, everything in one's life is important. Everything has a cause, or countless causes, as well as countless repercussions: because everything in this world is interconnected with everything else!


However, there is an ancient wisdom (in many cultures) stating that the manner in which something is begun, reflects the manner in which it will continue.
I have no doubt that the way we are born echoes through the rest of our life.


The reason I am thinking about this, investigating, researching, and now writing about it at the moment, is because my wife and I are looking into ways to birth our first child, due in November.


I have read some books about childbirth, seen some movies, met a doula, and visited a birth center. What I have found out is very, very interesting.


I will soon write an article giving you that information, because it has really affected me deeply. I now believe that the most important thing we can do for ourselves, our children, our society, and the Earth herself, is change the way we think about birth.


Why? Because most people these days are born in sterile, cold, bright, harsh, impatient, hurried, and unfriendly circumstances. Is it any wonder that our society is getting faster and faster, less and less friendly, more and more mechanical?


Is it possible that if we start birthing all our children naturally - slowly and gently, lovingly, with patience and without worry, that perhaps our society would also reflect that change?


I first started to think about all this several years ago when I heard Tony Samara explaining that Western medicine views birth as a 'procedure'; whereas all ancient cultures used to view it as a sacred ceremony. That really got me thinking...


Recently, I had an experience in meditation in which I re-experienced my birth. I felt as if I was being pulled by the head so hard that my body would detach.
Later, I found out from my Mother that forceps were used to pull me out from her body.
I know, that experience, as I emerged for the first time into this world, shaped the pattern of addiction that affected me for several years.


In the next article about birthing, I will explain in detail what I believe were the consequences of that moment in my life; what we can all do to improve birthing in our society; and I will also tell you how you can see two movies about natural birth for free. These films are quite simply two of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen in my life, and I am looking forward to sharing them with you.


With love,
Ben


Do you have anything to say about this - perhaps you have experienced 'rebirthing' (which I haven't); perhaps you have a different view towards childbirth? Please share with me and other readers by leaving a comment. Thank you!

13 comments:

stevmap said...

Hi Ben, I did a course on traditional Chinese medicine.
One of the methods of diagnosing is by the pulse.
Our lecturer told us of a guy who was so tuned to pulse diagnosis he could tell what the mother's state of health was when the patient he was diagnosing was conceived!!
In which case maybe the first event of our life, our conception, is the biggest event of our lives??
Just a Thought
congratulations by the way for the one who is on their way.

Ben Ralston said...

Hi Stephen,
I believe conception is definitely at least as important as birth!
I believe that all events are equally important, or rather, I believe that actually nothing is important.
I am so glad you asked this question because I was thinking about it myself as I wrote this... one of the most powerful techniques I use as a healer is called 'Re-conception', in which the client gets to kind of reprogram the energy of their conception, healing all unconscious patterns in their Mother and Father at that moment in the past.
It's such an interesting topic, but I think the truth is that the only thing that is 'important' is what we choose to place our attention on.
Thanks for stopping by, and I like your new blog design by the way - it's beautiful.
With love, Ben

nothingprofound said...

Ben-I think it's more important to focus on the present than the past. Therefore, I agree absolutely with your comment above to stevemap that all that really matters "is what we choose to place our attention on" In fact, one of my aphorisms is: "We are what we notice, what we pay attention to."

Ben Ralston said...

It's definitely more important to focus on the present NP. No argument there!
However, there is often 'stuff' that blocks a person's ability to actually BE present. I would say that very few people are able to focus on anything, let alone to combine that focus with being present.
The cause of these blockages is always trauma; and birth trauma is HUGE in today's society.
Nice aphorism by the way. As usual you hit the nail on the head :)
Love,
Ben

timethief said...

Hello Ben,
By now you must have ascertained that I'm from the flower child generation... lol :) Unlike most of my generation I was raised in the bush where home deliveries were common and hospital deliveries were rare. We are 1970's back-to-the-landers living very basic and simple lifestyles and very few of the babies who were born to my friends were born in hospitals. Many were born right at home, several were born in gardens, some were water births. Today the eldest of those babies, my godchild has just had her second home birth (a girl) so I couldn't resist sharing that. :)

Namaste

Ben Ralston said...

Hey TiTi, a real live hippy! Hehe :)
It had crossed my mind - I do have a picture of you... i'm glad to hear that I was right :)
I'm completely delighted that you shared that. It's one thing reading books and seeing people have beautiful, amazing, fearless, ecstatic births on film - quite something else to actually KNOW someone who can testify to generations of similar happy experiences.
Lovely, THANK YOU!!
Ben

Ben Ralston said...

Via Elephant Journal:
Pauloone · 4 hours ago
So much to think about. I was born at home in Italy where my parents were at the time. A local midwife assisted. I am told that the manner of my birth explains much of my attitude towards life. Friends tell me that I enjoy life and that I seem to fear no challenge, in fact I tend to set new challenges for myself constantly. From the moment of my birth, life was safe and accepting and not to be feared. Enjoyed your thoughts very much.

Ben Ralston said...

Via Ele Journal:
Irisblooming · 2 hours ago
Thank you Ben, & I look forward to more. I was born on my mothers' bed at my grandmothers house..midwife - neighbor called Maria. The only daughter of my parents and also the eldest of 10 siblings from other partnerships. All other babies were born in hospitals...My story has many, many layers of intricate details...in short...out of the 10 siblings I have the most expansive world view due to education, travel and an adveturest additude. I had my share of challenges including doubts and fears (due to a severe illness with mother figure) and my addtitude of moving forward always got me through. I do not however think of myself as "better than or more privilage than my siblings"....because I still believe that with great determination and willingness to grow my siblings are capable of contributing their talents as well...I guess I hold them within the sacred space of my own heart. I have never been afraid to visit my neighbors, spend time with them and be curious about them...I am most known for being able to engage with people from all walks of life and enjoy or learn from many worldviews simotaniously. Thanks again for sharing...

Erin said...

Hi Ben,
I love this post! I was a massage therapist for years, and stumbled into my current work as a birth doula when my sister got pregnant. I'm now working towards becoming a midwife. I can say without a doubt that conception, life in utero, birth and what happens immediately afterwards has a profound effect on our lives. Working with birth has been the riches, most humbling and most incredible work I've ever done. I feel dedicated to educating parents-to-be about the normalcy and wisdom of the pregnant woman's body...and the wisdom of the baby (that baby comes out knowing exactly what it wants and needs: human milk, and LOTS of skin to skin contact). I wish you all the best in your quest for knowledge. Birth is safe and it is sacred.

Ben Ralston said...

Hi Erin! Thank you for your comment.
We're speaking to Doula's at the moment, and looking for a midwife who will help us have a homebirth.
It really saddens me that there simply aren't any here that will do that! I have a feeling that it will be part of our future purpose here in Slovenia to change that... but first, we have to have our baby! :)
With love, Ben

Svetla said...

Hi Ben, I've read some of your posts, it's really inspirational. Really hope you manage to change the 'birth situation', I totally agree with your view towards childbirth and it makes me happy to know there are more people like you. Can't wait to read your next article about birthing.
Take care

Ben Ralston said...

Hi Svetla, thank you for the supportive comment. And for reminding me to write more about birth... I will.
With love, Ben

Anonymous said...

Hi Ben,

I enjoyed your post and looking forward to future writings on the subject.
I liked to read Erin's comment, too.
As a mother (gave birth with the help of midwife last Nov.) as well as a teacher (at a Waldorf school where we stay with the same class for eight years) I acknowledge the importance of birth its possible effects on one's life later on.

My motto in both roles is "Receive them with reverence and educate them in freedom"
Respect is what's missing from the cold hospital rooms!

Warmly,

Reka

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