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| Kiwan and Jai. Masters of Simplicity. |
Sometimes, life seems so damn complicated, doesn’t
it?! I have an intimate relationship with my wife to maintain and nourish; my
child to educate, support, and nurture; my work to soak up my passion and
creativity… and all the while the whole world seems to be trying to sell me
something!
But lately, more and more, I’m feeling like everything
is actually incredibly simple. Because the root of all these various and
complex problems is the same – me!
When I get myself in order, everything else falls into
place. Life becomes, once again, very joyful.
I used to think that I had to do lots of different
things in order to get myself into that joyful space: Yoga; meditation; eat
just right; get a balance between work and play; personal development work so
that my relationships would work (as long as my partner also did personal
development work!)… God, when I look back at what I was doing I cringe...
Now I realize that there is only one thing I need to
do, and all the labels I used to apply really boil down, in essence, to this
one thing:
Healing is this one thing.
Personal development is the same as this one thing.
Spiritual growth comes about as a result of this one
thing.
Healing.
I’m not talking about the word ‘healing’ as it’s come
to be used so much – as a kind of band-aid. This healer and that healer who do
this and that, and eventually, after a while, you realize that actually,
nothing has been healed!
I’m talking about profound, permanent transformation.
The reason why healing, personal development, and
spirituality are the same thing: because we are already perfect.
There is nothing to do, to achieve, to get. It’s all
there already, right there, inside you.
All we have to do, is let go of what’s blocking it
form coming out!
When Buddha said: “Be a light unto thyself”, I’m
pretty sure that’s what he meant: ‘just look at yourself, you’re perfect!’
When Jesus said “All these things, and greater, you
shall do too”, he was saying that he was nothing special – just an ordinary
human being like you and I, who had realized his perfection, and through it,
was able to achieve miracles. And that we all can do that too!
We’re all so beautiful, amazing, and perfect. But we
don’t love ourselves enough. And that’s the crux of the matter. We simply have
to let go of the blockages that stop us from loving ourselves.
That’s healing (and it’s really very simple).
It’s also personal development and spiritual growth.
Logging you in...
Tami Elizabeth · 701 weeks ago
Thank you for this post. I get so much out of your writing. I have a question about the lots of different things you used to do to get you to the joyful space - is there something that you still do on a daily basis to remind yourself to let go of the blockages or has your experience been that once you have cleared them, they just vanish for good?
I find that I need to keep my thoughts positive and focused on appreciation of what's in front of me in order so as to not get caught up in distractions and slip out of center.
I would love to hear your thoughts and practices (if you have any).
Thank you for all you share and all you are!
Ben_Ralston 97p · 701 weeks ago
Once you really clear a blockage it does 'vanish for good'. Good news huh?!
We are not our blockages. We are perfect, pure, highest consciousness. What is the blockage? What is being blocked?
What is being blocked is the consciousness. Removing the blockage is like taking a rock out of a river - the water flows again through the space where the rock was. Similarly, when you release a subconscious blockage, the higher consciousness flows.
The reason you need to keep your thoughts positive etc is that the blockage has nothing to do with thoughts. Thoughts are in the head. Emotions in the heart. Instincts in the body. The subconscious blockages are held in place by the instincts. So to clear the blockage we work on instincts, release them, and let go of the blockage.
Then it truly vanishes, and your emotions and thoughts spontaneously become lighter and more positive. Effortlessly.
Thank you for reading and sharing.
Love :)
Dave Ralston · 701 weeks ago
I haven't read your blog for a while, but whenever I do it's always a great read. I really feel your enthusiasm for your work, and your message is always so clearly expressed. I enjoyed your last comment: 'But we don’t love ourselves enough. And that’s the crux of the matter. We simply have to let go of the blockages that stop us from loving ourselves.' Something I believe in very much, and have been trying to apply for years! Unfortunately though, I also believe that some events that occur in our lives leave permanent scars. I feel at this point you will disagree, but from my personal experience this is definitely the case. I feel that sometimes 'healing' can't be applied when you have had something so important removed from your life at such a critical stage. You know what I'm talking about obviously. Life can be improved, I mean I had over 5 years of quality therapy and as a result my life has been turned around.
Ben_Ralston 97p · 699 weeks ago
So to answer you fully:
"some events that occur in our lives leave permanent scars"
First, what is a scar? Is it an ugly wound that marks you as 'different'? Or is it a fascinating sign that marks you out as 'unique'? I prefer the second... Of course, the scars you talk about are not real scars, but nonetheless... we all have our experiences, all unique, and they make us the person we are today. Without yours, I doubt you would be the sensitive, upright, courageous, generous, and sweet guy that I'm honored to call brother. And for sure - I would have one less brother, right?! So that scar is, at least to me, a blessing...
But yes, I do disagree with your main point. I'll explain why -
What we truly are is not our body, or our emotions, or even our physical 'energy'. We are pure consciousness (Soul). What happens to us in this life does not affect our soul. It only affects us on the levels of body, emotion, energy, mind, etc. As long as we think we are our body, emotions, etc it affects us deeply. But the more we realize deeply what we are, the more detached we become from those experiences that perhaps before seemed to completely engulfing. The experiences we are talking about do shape our personality, but even our personality is temporary. What is permanent - the soul - is untouched. So the possibility is always there for us to identify more with our deeper self, and as we do so, our experience of life is changed. This is really what healing is about for me (at a high level).
Dave Ralston · 701 weeks ago
Hope you are well, love to Kiwan and Petra :-)
Dave x
Ben_Ralston 97p · 699 weeks ago
The river analogy: rivers and rocks are facts. 'Natural disasters' - these are also facts, but not in the way you mean. You mean that something happens that is 'catastrophic', or disastrous, as in 'terrible'. This is not a fact - this is a judgement. As long as we believe that some things are 'good', and some things are 'bad', we will forever be at the mercy of nature and it's 'disasters'. But I believe that everything happens for a reason, and a positive reason. So from this perspective I would say that healing 100% is *always* possible. Is it possible to say to yourself: "what happened was the best thing that could have happened?" That way you embrace your life fully. You take responsibility fully for what *IS*, rather than always looking back (at the time when the river 'changed course') and wondering what 'could have been'. What is, is. There is no going back. There is also no changing course, other than in this moment. And we must learn to let go of the past if we want to embrace fully the present moment - 100% healing.
Easily said, I know. But actually, this is the basis of healing - presence.
Love from the 3 of us xxx
Dave Ralston · 697 weeks ago
Yes I believe everything does happen for a reason, and I never, at least not now, think 'what if'. I am always looking to the future while being totally in the present. Currently I am very happy and would not change that for anything. I still believe though, that the natural bond being broken with my mother has left some diffculties in my life that I will always face. Some are very deep and often subconscious. I worked with my psychotherapist to identify and understand these issues, and I as a result I always know why I behave or feel a certain way. So maybe I am as healed as I can be, and if that's 100% I don't know.
Some of your points I feel difficult to grasp fully, obviously you've studied RPT (correct abbreviation?) and this has enabled you to fully undertand the points you make. For me reading what you wrote about the 'soul' etc hasn't hit home as I feel it should. I kind of get what you mean though, and the more I think about it, the more it sinks in :-)
Dave
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